


Who We Are

by sadreddie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 02:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13471461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadreddie/pseuds/sadreddie
Summary: just a lil concept i came up with in a gc. it's not written in the best format since i did wing all of this (it's kinda all over the place) but bare with me because it's good i think.





	1. Prologue

Eddie's heart raced as he entered the classroom, usually he hated chemistry, but today he was going to get Richie back. It had been a week since the breakup. It had been a week since their fight. It had been a whole week since Eddie's heart was ripped out of his chest. He didn't want to break up with Richie, he loved him. He was just mad. Richie was sitting on the table, his back to Eddie, talking to his lab partner. Eddie approached Richie, listening to his conversation, "Honestly, Eddie was the worst, I'm actually glad we broke up." Eddie stopped in his tracks, surely he didn't mean it. "Y'know," Richie said, leaning closer to the boy, "Every time i kissed Eddie, I was wishing it was you." Richie smiled. Eddie did not. Eddie never thought he would hear this coming out of Richie's mouth. He always thought they had something special, but now he knows Richie felt otherwise.

Eddie doesn't know how to cope. He finds himself writing letters to Richie, ones he never sends. Letters filled with everything he didn't say, everything he couldn't say. He poured his heart into every word, sealed them into an envelope and never opened them again.


	2. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly this is some of the worst writing i've done but its a mf concept sisters

1 year had gone by and Eddie was walking home from his friend Beverly's party. He had abandoned his car at the Bev's house, not wanting to drive home even slightly intoxicated. Of course, not everyone was as smart as him. Not everyone had left their car at the party. Eddie didn't see it coming, not until it was too late. He was so blinded by the brightness of the headlights that at first he didn't realize what was happening and by the time he did, the car has impacted his body with incredible force.

When Richie found out that Eddie was in the hospital his heart broke. He couldn't bring himself to visit him, what was the point? it wasn't like he was awake and it wasn't like anyone knew when he was going to wake up. Instead, Richie went to Eddie's house, to Eddie's bedroom. He hasn't been there in a year, he looks around taking everything in. It hasn't changed much, same blue walls, same white bed, same everything. The only difference Richie noticed was a new wardrobe. He opens the wardrobe and sifts through Eddie's clothes for a while before discovering an old, tattered box on the top shelf. Richie gently removes it from the shelf and places it on Eddie's floor before sitting beside it and looking inside. Inside the box are photos of him and Eddie, he looks through them remembering the times they were taken. The time they went to the beach, their first date, their zoo trip. He picked up a photo of them standing in front of Richie's house, his arm around Eddie's shoulder and Eddie's around Richie's waist, they're laughing but Richie can't remember what was so funny, all he can remember was the sound of Eddie's laughter and how it made him feel inside. He stands to his feet, pins the photo to Eddie's pin board and sits back in his original position. He rummages through old movie tickets and restaurant receipts and other memorabilia from previous dates together and comes to the bottom of the box. At the bottom he finds a pile of letters addressed to him. He opens the oldest looking letter first and it's dated 3rd February, a week after their breakup. Eddie told Richie everything in the letter, he told him that he heard what he said in chemistry, he told him how he really felt about him, about how much he loved him, he told him how broken and lonely he was. Richie read every letter, he didn't care how long it took. Every letter more painful than the last. By the time he finishes reading, it's pitch black outside. He can't breathe. He's crying puddles. The last time he cried this hard was when Bowers beat Eddie up for being gay. But Eddie was there to comfort him that time. Tonight, he was alone.

The next morning he planned to tell Eddie that he loved him when he woke up. He realized how much he hurt Eddie. How much he broke is heart. He put Eddie through hell. He had to make up for it. He practiced what he was going to say every night in the mirror until the day came. 3 weeks after the accident. He entered the hospital room, Eddie was sitting upright in bed, he had woken up mere hours before. Richie is reluctant to speak. He doesn't know how to express how much he loves Eddie. He doesn't know how to tell Eddie how sorry he is. He cant believe what he did to Eddie. He made the past year of his life miserable. He took a deep breathe before speaking, ""Hey, now might not be the time but I- I need to tell you something. It's important." Eddie raises his head to look at Richie, a confused look plasters his face. "I'm sorry," he says, "do I know you?" "I-" Richie started. He swallowed hard, tears threatening his eyes. He realizes now. He realizes what's happening. He hurt Eddie. Eddie had been hurting every day since the breakup. He was hurting the day he got hit by the car, and now is his chance to be happy. Without Richie. "Sorry, wrong room," Richie said before leaving. Eddie swore he had seen the strange boy from somewhere, but where?


	3. Missing Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months after the accident and Eddie was still wondering who the mysterious boy was. He thought he would never see him again until the day he decided to do some light reading at the library.

Eddie's nose is stuck in his book when he sees someone out of the corner of his eye. Eddie swore he had seen him before, maybe in a past life, maybe in a dream, or maybe just around town, who knows. His eyes followed Richie to the horror section directly in front of him. He watched him for 32 minutes exactly before Richie eventually settled on a book. Richie spun around quickly, planning to read his book at a desk in the library when he was met with someone he told himself he would never speak to again. It wasn't the first time he saw Eddie since the hospital but he knew it was the first time Eddie saw him. Their eyes locked, Richie couldn't hide. He felt exposed and debated running for the door. "H-hey," Eddie said, "There's a space here if you wanna read," he gestured towards the empty seat beside him. "Uh thanks," Richie said before sitting. Did Eddie remember him?

They read in silence until Eddie turned to Richie and tapped him lightly on the shoulder, "Uhm, I'm sorry if this is weird but...I feel like I know you, have we met?" He asked. Richie looked surprised. Some would say he even looked hopeful. "I-I don't know what to say, we went to school together," Richie said. He could feel Eddie's eyes piercing into him but he wouldn't dare look at him. "Oh," Eddie replied, "Were we friends? I'm sorry I just- I feel like we knew each other. I don't remember much ever since the crash." "No" Richie said, "we weren't friends, we had chemistry together. You probably just recognize me from class." "Are you sure? I feel like I know you, we never hung out?" Eddie asked. Richie was getting annoyed, or maybe angry. "I mean I think we hung out once or twice but we weren't close or anything," Richie replied, standing with his book ,"I gotta go" he mumbled before leaving. 

Eddie ran home. He knew Richie. He knew it. He had to remember him. He burst through the door and headed straight for his room. He lunged at his pin board removing the photo of him and Richie, the one he'd stared at every day since he came home from the hospital. "Who are you?" He asked and turned the photo revealing the writing on the back. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he said. All that time he could have just looked at the back of the photo. Sometimes his forgetfulness angered him, his mom said his brain was just "working slower" since the crash, but Eddie couldn't help but feel stupid. He read the writing on the picture; 'Richie + Eddie'. "Hey mommy?" he yelled. He hadn't even finished saying 'mommy' before his mother was standing in the door frame, "Yes Eddie-bear?" She said smiling. "Do you remember Richie?" He asked. "Tozier? yes. You used to be friends with him but you drifted apart, thank god though, he was a terrible influence," she replied. "Tozier," Eddie whispered. "okay, thanks mom," he said before heading towards the phone book leaving her in the hall. He searched Richie's name and copied down his address. 

Eddie hopped on his bike, determined to reach his destination before nightfall. He arrived outside the old house in the photo. There was one light on at the top floor. It wasn't Richie's. Eddie knew what room was Richie's. He didn't know how, but he knew. He hurried to the back yard and climbed the big oak tree before reaching Richie's window. He tapped on it lightly, this felt all too familiar to him. Within seconds Richie was at his window as pale as a ghost. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. How did Eddie know where he lived? Why was he here? He had so many questions. He opened his window and Eddie climbed inside. "Richie," Eddie started. A smile covered Richie's face. He remembers Richie's name. "I found you in the phone book, your name was on the back of this photo," Eddie said, pulling the picture out of his pocket. Richie's smile faded. He didn't remember. 

"I know you," Eddie said, refusing to look away from Richie's eyes. "I fucking know you and I-I don't know how but I do. We weren't just classmates. I know you." Eddie reached into his backpack and pulled out a pink Hawaiian shirt, "This is yours," He said. Richie's eyes focused on the shirt. He thought he lost that shirt ages ago. He doesn't remember leaving it at Eddie's, unless Eddie had stolen it. "How do you know that's mine?" Richie asked, his voice shaking. "I-I don't know. I just knew. It's yours. It looks like yours. And it-it smells like yours and I don't even know what you smell like I just know that this is it. This is yours," Eddie said slightly frustrated. "Eddie," Richie whispered, he didn't know what to say. "If we weren't friends them why was this in my room? Where did it come from? Please, help me Richie," Eddie begged. "Please. I need you. I need you to help me. To tell me whats going on. Who are you Richie?" He asked, tears filling his eyes. Richie didn't say anything. He couldn't. He walked towards his bed. He bent down and pulled out a cardboard box from underneath it. He handed it to Eddie. "I took this from your room," He said, "Everything you want to know is in this box." Eddie took the box while Richie spoke, "But you might find some things you don't like." Eddie started to look through the box but Richie stopped him, "don't look through it until you get home." He showed Eddie the way out, "I don't want to hurt you again Eddie," he said before closing the door, leaving Eddie outside in the cold air. Richie's back slid down the length of the door, he curled himself into a ball. All the emotions. All the pent up sadness. Everything he'd bottled inside him for years. It was all flowing out of him. He fell asleep on the cold floor that night while Eddie discovered his life with Richie Tozier. 

Eddie delicately and intensely studied the pictures. It was strange to him. These pictures. He was in them, but he doesn't remember taking them. He doesn't remember anything about those days. All he knew was that he was there, and he was with Richie, and he was happy. He comes to the bottom of the box, the letters. He reads through them, studying them carefully. He memorized every word. Every heartbreaking word. He knows why Richie pretended not to know him. He knows what Richie meant when he said "I don't want to hurt you again." He gets to the final letter. It's different from the others. It's not addressed to Richie. His fingers danced along the ink spelling 'Eddie Kaspbrak'. He opened the letter slowly. 'Dear Eds,' He read. Eds. Something about that name, it made him feel safe. He read the letter absorbing every word. Richie explained everything; the dating, the breakup, the crash, him finding the letters, him planning to tell Eddie he loved him, Eddie not recognizing him, everything. And Eddie knew. Eddie knew Richie. 

Eddie Kaspbrak couldn't remember anything about Richie Tozier. Until he remembered everything.


End file.
